Jack's what you get when you let your heart win // ♪

Danger, danger, damn... Being in love can be dangerous for health...! And for job, and so on...Will my life become calmer, some day?
._.
Why is everything a mess? Why do I allow it?
In some place inside me, is it funny? Jack's Stuff is happening exactly like Jonny's Stuff...
I've been asleep, I can't think about anything that is not him... I can't stop wishing him ><
But, as any non-fairy tale, someone comes to spoil ¬¬
I like him and.. I want to be with him, but I don't want a world around us.
I don't want anyone to meddle. Exactly when this one is my mom.
Fuck the world! I want him... Time's not helping, and I can't deny anything... I'm up to him ><'
For a minute, I thought I was not in love anymore, but the world conspired in his favor and I changed my ideas.
That's my scrap for him today:
" - Jack's what you get when you let your heart win - well, I know I love you, but I'm not used of being treaten as a princess, with so much love... Thank you for being the way you are... You're special and, as I said, I'LL DO IT ALL FOR YOU; THEN COME WITH ME AND BREAK AWAY, IT DON'T MATTER WHAT THEY SAY. "

Funny how, time flies { ♪ }

In fact, it's not funny how the time flies, but...
Man... As always, everything changed again and again!
Did u remember whe I said I was with L?
So.. what happened?
I started talking to my Jack some weeks ago and he was on me..
And then... Well.. On May, 1st, I met him on Ibira and then we were together..
But, I am falling in love and so is he...
But.. Both of us don't want to take on this.
He used the therm "captivate", as the Little Prince. Yeah, I guess it's gonna be better to use this feeling and this word to define what's really going on.
But... I feel something strange.. When I call him, he's one person; when HE calls me, he's another, and in MSN, HE'S ANOTHER KIND OF PERSON! '-'
I can't concentrate 'cause all my mind can see is his face, and remember his words and wishing all the time to be with him... ;s
And I guess I made a terrible mistake. I told someone that I was supposed to miss one service day, and I'll pray till I die if this person doesn't tell anyone it.
And there are some things that make me think SO much...
Which things?
* Spend night along with him
* His romantic behavior.

Why?
1) Sometimes he "lets" in the air that he'd like to spend some time at night/dawn with me. I don't know.. Maybe it's just an impression he causes... ><
To a virgin one it's something hard to deal with...
2) He has a charming and loving romanticism, but having someone who captivated me and acting like that, it's a strange and different thing for me. When he said he'd take his guitar to play some song to me, I stopped in front of my computer and I started looking without any understanding ._.
That'd be so perfect, but so strange...
I'll spend all I'm feeling when I'm with him, 'cause I don't want to feel so much pain when he's gone...
My 'composition' about him, follows bellow:

" Time doesn't mean anything when there is intensity. Life has spent so much time to bring me something that worthwile, someone that I can express all the -caress- I have inside. And when I can taste it, life takes it from me..."

Can a conscient mistake be forgiven?

So many weeks later... I guess I didn't put anything here for more than one month . . .

But, take a look.

My life changed a lot!!!

I started working, I thought I was free from Vinicius, but I can't keep lying to me: I like him yet, but now I'm up to accept all the consequences, I really don't care about what's gonna happen...

I'm just regreted of something I did today.. I kissed Bella's friend. He's a very nice guy, but up to now I can't believe how the things happened. I was desiring "F", 'cause he's really cute. But when I saw "L" going, I couldn't believe that he was going without saying good bye. I ran to him, I gave him a hug and we started talking. We went out and then he kissed me, and as I'm stupid all the time, I didn't do any fuckin' thing to stop it. He's loving, but I don't know.. The splot was terrible. Why? I am gonna give some points to justify all the facts:

* I wanted his friend; * Lineker felt so bad because of what happened that he went away; * How can I kiss a guy loving another? In ny opinion, this kind of thing cannot happen; * "L" is too nice and I won't feel good if I disappoint him, and I'm so sure that it's going to happen . . . "/

I know that kissing me doesn't mean that he's in love, but . . .

My life's still messed up. It never changes I guess...

As any post, that's all folks....

I hope I'll post more, just to overburst, but nowadays I've been feeling SO tired ;s

What A Wonderful Sensation

When I think I'm lost, I find myself totally LOST!

I know maybe I'm living in a deep illusion, but my world seems to be so much better now!

I always thought he was being sensible when he broke up, but now he's giving me all reasons to believe he still likes me and he wants to come back.

I prefer to believe it's just an illusion, 'cause if I discover it's really an illusion, I'll not feel broken, but if I discover it's not an illusion, it can surprise me! *-*

When I saw his face by the last time over the internet, I started crying 'cause I wanted to have him with me, by my side, closer to my heart.

But he's giving me so many reasons to believe he wants to be mine again..

The songs he sent, the things he typed, the questions he asked me...

It's a kind of sign! He can't be just a loving friend... Well, if he's always like that, I know he's gonna hurt me, but if this attention is special to me, man.. I don't know!

I do love him, I always did.

Not always exactly, but.. From the bottom of my heart, I always wanted him!

I'm confused 'cause I don't wanna have any sort of pain.. But I love him.. Yes, I do!

No Reasons

After a long time... I'm here again to talk about the same thing I had written about: that one.

I can't keep in lies with myself.

I shouldn't hide my feelings from me 'cause one day it's gonna break me inside, more than now.

When I thought I got well on that, he came back to see me.

I thought I was totally okay, but when I saw his face in the computer, I felt like crying 'cause he broke my heart, but I disguised well and he couldn't see my new tears...

Now I have a scrap: why do you want me to treat you as if it has not happened any thing?

I know I 'promised' you I'd try to forget all that happened and we'd be friends. but it's not easy to me...

And.. When I promised that, I thought you'd get away from me easily, but you came in..

I got no reasons to be good to you, and I'm still waiting for your blood.

It'll be good to my ego.

It's not good for all the human kind, but what can I do if it makes me feel better?

:S

Helloween - Forever And One

What can I do?
Will I be getting through?
Now that I must try to leave it all behind
Did you see what you have done to me?
So hard to justify
Slowly it's passing by

Forever and one I will miss you
However I kiss you yet again
Way down in Neverland
So hard I was trying
Tomorrow I'll still be crying
How could you hide your lies
Your lies

Here I am
Seeing you once again
My mind's so far away
My heart's so close to stay
Too proud to fight
I'm walking back into night
Will I ever find someone to believe?

Forever and one I will miss you
However I kiss you yet again
Way down in Neverland
So hard I was trying
Tomorrow I'll still be crying
How could you hide your lies
Your lies
.....

Música perfeiita *-*

Pro Inferno com Homenagens

Ahhh Merda...!
Por que eu não consigo odiá-lo completamente?
Aii saco ¬¬
Agora akele gay coloca foto fazendo coisinha pra Paam' idiotaaaa
Mano... Eu juro! Consegui me recuperar facilmente dessa coisa de ter que tirar aquele traste do meu coração, mas ainda dói um pouquinho. Acho que o que mais dói é o meu lado Capricórnio, porque bem lá no fundo (talvez não tão fundo), ele sabe que foi feito de idiota e isso não tem perdão! NÃO TEM PERDÃO!
É raiva demais presa dentro de mim, mas ela está escapando de uma forma que eu não sei bem explicar... Na verdade, não sei nem se está realmente escapando. As vezes acho que a minha raiva encontrou outro lugar dentro de mim para ficar, lugar esse que até agora não consegui identificar....!
Ser feita de idiota por causa dele não é vida pra mim... Realmente não...!
A minha vontade agora é de ir encontrá-lo, pisar bastante ao ponto de ele ficar grudado nas linhas do meu tênis e depois limpar as raspinhas no tapete.
Eu tenho que confessar que isso me deixou machucadinha por dentro, mas eu sou foda, eu sou forte e não vou descer do meu salto...!
Sei que acabo fazendo isso naturalmente, mas nesse momento só vou me mostrar forte, foda e superior...!